The Cohen household is still all sick and stuff.

I’m feeling much better, and although my voice is returning, it still isn’t up to par. That is probably why I’m scheduled to make lots of phone calls this week at work.

Elaine was feeling great yesterday, but now she’s not feeling well and she went to bed early.

Marcus is feeling fine, though he’s drooling all over the place because more teeth are coming in.

I got home late from work today. Elaine was already in bed. After dinner I laid down in the couch to read a book. Little Arbeau actually came over and crawled on my lap. It was very sweet. He even purred when I pet him.

He’s not doing well. He hardly eats. He hasn’t gone down stairs to pee. Earlier I moved one of the litter boxes upstairs. Pythag promptly christened it.

Pythag is getting so large, I’m surprised he even fit.

I have a quandary. As I mentioned in my Second City diary (which is updated to the 4th week now), I went out drinking after the class. I didn’t drink this time, but I will.

That isn’t my quandary. The problem is that a lot of people smoke in that bar, and I hate the smell of it.

Surprisingly, I was able to take it. People were polite. They didn’t blow it at anyone – in fact, they held their cigarettes in front of them, and blew the smoke up. That was awesomely cool.

My problem is that my clothes smelled of cigarettes afterwards.

My clothes I will wash, and that should handle it. But does anyone have any ideas of what to do about my coat? It reeks. I hate smelling it in my car during the ride home. I opened my windows for a bit just to handle it, which will be great during the winter.

Anyway, any ideas will be helpful. One friend mentioned Frebreeze. Maybe I’ll start carrying that around.

Ah well. The company is worth the smoke. It is odd though. It has been a while since I’ve hung out in bars.

This past week has been interesting. As this blog is in major part a diary for me, I’m going to include a bunch of random bits.

I got together with Shawn to work on my costume. Okay, she did most of the work, but I did do the boots! It is coming along great, and with everything else being planned, I’m really looking forward to Halloween. On Friday, with Alison, I picked up the rest of what I needed for my costume.

I got sick again over the weekend. I think with Marcus bringing stuff home, Elaine and I have to get used to just passing around stuff. She is feeling much better, and today I am too, although I have a very sexy scratchy throaty voice. That will be just perfect for improv tonight.

I was at my worst on Saturday at the event. I eventually took some medicine, but I was pale, and couldn’t really keep my feet much. I took the medicine before court, so I was able to attend, but I was fading fast.

This past weekend I stepped down as the Kingdom Exchequer of the Middle Kingdom. I was definitely getting burned out. It was kinda fun, during the day, when people would come up to me and start talking about their problems to be able to say, “I can give you my opinion, but you do know I’m stepping down tonight at court, and the final decision won’t be mine, right?” Then they’d basically excuse themselves because I’m a lame duck with no authority anymore!

I was called into court early to collect some money from an auction (around $660). I was then called back into court, and to bring the money with me. I was asked to put the money in front of me on the ground, and I said, “Don’t worry, all $560 is there!” That got a good laugh.

I then explained that I was having a problem with fulfilling the duties of my office. I demonstrated that when I flipped through the exchequer’s handbook, all the pages were blank. How could I continue to do my office when I couldn’t look up the proper procedures?

Their Majesties then asked if there was another who might be able to assist. I mentioned the Oaken Regional, Artemisia, who has helped me in the past. She was brought forward, and when she flipped through the book (making sure, as I did, that the audience could easily see), all the pages had text on them. I grabbed it back and tried, and it was all blank. She took it back and it worked. Their Majesties recommended that perhaps I had served long enough and that she take my place.

It went over very well, I think, and people told me afterwards that it was a good bit of shtick.

Of course, Rosamund’s routine was better. Upon stepping down as Kingdom Seneschal, she was carried away on a bier by a crown of strong men. I’m glad I went first!!

Two people I was rooting for to win Crown did not win. In a way I am glad because I would have volunteered to help. Since they didn’t win, I can take a break from the SCA and just enjoy doing things. For example, I’ll be teaching some improv at Bardic Madness in November, and maybe even doing some routines with Aaron.

My son continues to amaze me. He babbles all the time, saying “da da da” and “ma ma ma” quite a bit. He pulls himself up all the time, and is getting into everything. We have the place pretty straightened up now, with some items “put away,” but still okay for him to get at. It is good for him to explore and find things. Most of it, though, is out of reach. I wouldn’t be surprised if he started walking in the next month or so.

Arbeau is hanging in there. He is so thin I can feel his bones when I pet him. Last night he didn’t feel like going downstairs to the kitty litter box, so instead he jumped on the plant and peed in that. I wouldn’t have minded so much except he missed. I didn’t discipline him though – why bother? After Halloween I may move a litter box upstairs so he doesn’t have to move that much to reach it. Poor little guy.

Oh, btw, there are new Marcus pictures up, with a nice portrait taken by Chris!

Arbeau has cancer.

The Michigan State Veterinary Hospital doesn’t know how bad it is. They are pretty certain that it isn’t isolated.

The only way to find out is surgery.

If it is isolated, then they could cut it out and he’d probably be okay.

However, they are highly confident, based on everything else that is wrong with him, that it isn’t isolated.

In that case, they could gain him a couple of months to maybe a year by treating it directly, with surgery and chemotherapy pills.

Arbeau hates pills.

We are giving him some right now because of an infection, and he is sulky and scared of us. He’s even starting to hate the chicken we give him afterwards, associating them with the pills.

So, we can either have surgery and if we are lucky gain a few months, or stop the pills after Tuesday and let him live out the time he has left in peace.

We will talk to the vet again on Monday, but Elaine and I have made up our minds. No surgery.

We think it would be best to enjoy the rest of his life. He’ll have good days and bad days.

Last night I brought him upstairs and laid him down on Elaine. He walks around a bit, then curled up on him and started to purr very loudly.

That is how he should live.

I don’t expect him to last the year.

Poor little guy.

It was raining when I left Detroit for D.C. I was hoping it was raining in D.C. because I figured it would be impossible for me to carry on my umbrella onto an aircraft. I need to get one of those tiny ones that Elaine keeps in her purse. I can throw that in my satchel and forget about it.

As it was, it wasn’t raining in D.C., it was pouring. Although it is a bit of a walk from the Northwest terminal at Reagan International, it is entirely enclosed. But from the metro to the Cosmos Club it isn’t. So I ended up getting soaked in my suit.

Glenn and I were so hungry by then we didn’t even bother to change once we arrived. We just went right to dinner.

I have to say, the best thing about traveling is the food, and the Cosmos Club has a great chef. I had a crab cake dinner, a fantastic salad, and a heavenly chocolate dessert. I was even dry by the end of the meal.

The conference itself is going well. We have over 70 people here, which is the best it has been in years, with packed talks and such. My talk was on Wednesday, the first day. The guy before me was incredibly boring, so when I did my talk with its humorous elements, no one was laughing. I couldn’t believe it.

About ten minutes in I actually said, “Wow, this is an incredibly tough crowd. No one is catching on to any of my jokes. It is okay to laugh, you know.” And they did laugh. Then two slides later I said, “No, pay attention, here comes another joke,” and since I had broken the ice, they actually got it and found the rest of my presentation amusing, as well as interesting.

By the way, the metric I use to determine if they found my presentation interesting is by the amount of questions I get. I got a decent amount of questions, and we had to cut them off after a bit to allow the next speaker to come on. People came up to me afterwards to talk about the work.

I do like improv, and I especially like applying it to these kind of presentations. This was by far, though, the toughest crowd I’ve had.

I’m not sure when I’ll be able to upload this entry. There are two networked computers in the building, but they’ve been almost constantly in use. One guy was downloading ballet images – young girls doing dance. I think he was one hundred and thirteen years old.

Now, I’m all for looking at pretty images on the web. That is why I like having my pictures of my wife and child up for people to see and say, “Aww, your wife is pretty and your son is cute!” But this guy was on there for hours. And I found out he has been on there every day. For the past two weeks at least.

Nice.

Tonight is the reception, which is always fun. Then tomorrow is a half day (well, almost a full day, we go until around 3 PM I think), and then I get to go home.

Yay!!!

(…later…)

The banquet was awesome. The fellow who spoke was Captain America.

Really.

His name is Steve Rogers (hence the Captain America moniker). His talk was entitled “Computing Machinery and Intelligence Aplification,” an homage to Alan Turing’s seminal paper. Rogers discussed artificial intelligence, but stressed intelligent assistants who amplify human performance in various fields. He also talked about qualia, and what do you know, the spell checker doesn’t know the word.

Qualia is the plural of quali, is concerned with evaluation. I’m slaughtering this definition, but bear with me. In science we can measure the color red and give its wavelength and such, but each of us has a different quali – how we like red, how it makes us feel, that sort of thing. Hunger, pain, love, etc., are all qualia that we have individual measures for. Rogers feels we won’t have true AI until we can incorporate quali metrics into systems.

Please note that I tried to sum up an hour talk in one paragraph, so I’m not really doing his thesis justice.

Anyway, he had done a lot of work in military applications of image processing, but them moved to the commercial world to apply those tank identification techniques for breast cancer. By using his quali idea, his goal wasn’t to make a system that had better sensitivity in recognizing possible cancer blocks. He defined his measure as increasing the number of identifications of cancer that the radiologist would have missed in the first place. In scientific terms – lowering the number of false negatives. His company’s current system identifies 30% more cancerous areas (and they turn out to be cancerous) than just the radiologist does alone. They call it the Second Look system.

At the reception I was able to sit next to someone who knows my advisor, Lynn Conway, well. He took over from her at DARPA, which I found awesomely cool. Small world.

I called Elaine last night and got a bunch of bad news. I’ll post that in another entry once I have all the information. I wish I were home.

(…later…)

I’m home! I was concerned that the flight would be delayed because of the silly student from North Carolina who decided to put box cutters in luggage on aircraft. Fortunately, there was no problem. I got back at around 7:30 PM.

Everyone missed me. What really impressed me was that Marcus, at only nine months old, missed me a lot. He got so happy when I showed up and was all gleeful and giggly! It was great!!

Right now, late at night, Marcus is in bed asleep. Pythag is being silly and helping me with this blog. Little Arbeau is in bed with my wonderful beautiful wife Elaine.

I’m glad to be home.

I updated my improv entry. I just realized that I got the dates wrong...I'll fix it on Friday when I get back from my trip.

This trip is easy. My talk is on Wednesday, and after that I'll I have to do is listen to other papers. I've brought lots of work with me. If I'm lucky I'll be able to start writing proposals.

I hate leaving Elaine home, though. It is bad enough taking care of Marcus Man by herself. But now she has to take Arbeau to the vet in Lansing on Thursday, and give him pills twice a day. It takes two of us to pill him - with one person it is almost impossible. I wish we had that pill giving skill that others I know have.

I'll still have online access while I'm out there, though I might not be able to update my blog. I hope everyone has a great week!

Arbeau is doing much better. He jumps up on our bed now. He is eating a lot, in addition to the chicken we give him after his pills. And with those pills, he really struggles, much more than he did last week.

Our vet still wants us to get an ultrasound. She’s probably right – better to know for sure that he is okay. Still, this means that he gets shaved again. Poor little shaved guy.

Elaine will take him on Thursday.

From Tuesday night until Friday night I’ll be gone. I’m giving a talk at the Applied Imagery Pattern Recognition workshop. Be careful of the link. I have it on good authority that the mission statement on the opening page is quite boring.

This weekend I went to my friend Kelly’s wedding. She had it at a lodge where the SCA holds lots of events (the Winter Revel site in Ionia, Michigan). You couldn’t have asked for better weather! The wedding itself was short and very nice. The food was amazing. I really liked the square dancing in the evening.

Of course, during the ceremony when the officiate requested a moment of silence for those who weren’t with us, Marcus decided that he would like to happily screech out loudly. I knew that would happen to me one day.

Tonight is another improv class, and I’m very much looking forward to it!!

I can't find my first and second season DVDs of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. If you have it, or know who I loaned it to, please let me know!

I usually write those things down, but didn't this time. Ugh...

The title sounds like a new television show!

As I mentioned before, I’ve started taking improv classes at Second City. I’ve written up my first week, and I’ve made a page for the summary. I’ll put a link to the side later. I think I’m really going to love it.

In other news, Little Arbeau could be very sick again. He’s got very elevated white cell counts. We are now giving him antibiotics (two pills that he hates to take) and he’ll go in for an ultrasound at MSU next week. The good news is that his liver levels are fine, which was the problem last time.

Poor little guy.

Right now Marcus is asleep. It is his second nap of the day. I’m staying home to watch him because his daycare place is closed for Yom Kippor, and I’m spending my Day of Atonement changing diapers and cleaning spit-up.

Not a bad way to spend the day.

This weekend Elaine and I got a lot of work done around the house. It is looking pretty good again, all cleaned and straightened. We also have started child proofing. All of the outlets in reach have these great covers on them – you have to slide them out of the way with a plug, and spring back when not in use.

The cabinets in the kitchen are now childproofed. They are also DeForest-proof, as I discovered much to my glee before gaming last night. With one hand, though, you can open them up.

There are also some curtain tie-backs on the walls in the living room. I found some very pretty leaf ones at Lowe’s. I was inspired by seeing them at a friend’s housewarming on Saturday, and broke down and finally got some. It is amazing how much light is let in!

Uh oh, someone is waking up…

Sometime in the future, the Enterprise is exploring an area of space near the Playford Nebula.

Sulu: Captain, sensors are picking up something strange, coming at us
at warp speed.

Kirk: Mr. Spock?

Spock: Scanning Captain.

Kirk: Sulu, how long until impact.

Sulu: Less than five minutes, Sir.

Chekov: Deflector shields up, Keptain. Object within wisual range
...how odd.

Spock: Captain, I believe what we are seeing is a Usenet mailing list, one specifically geared towards dance in the middle ages.

Kirk: Towards dance? What would such a group be used for.

Spock: Unknown Captain.

Kirk: Uhura, can you open a channel and get some information.

Uhura: Aye aye, Sir.

Sulu: Three minutes to impact.

Uhura: Sir, there are many messages being sent, some of them becoming very volatile. They are discussing ... this is confusing, they are discussing which is more important, only doing period dances, or allowing non-period yet equally fun dances. It is very confusing.

Spock: Ah yes, such arguments appear on this mailing list every six months or so, with no productive results.

Kirk: Send a universal greeting, Lieutenant.

Uhura: Message was received, but unacknowledged. I believe it got lost in the noise. They keep repeating the same points over and over.

[The ship shudders, and the Bridge crew lurches left and right.]

Chekov: Keptain! The mailing list has focused some sort of tractor beam on us. We are being sucked into the discussion!

Kirk: Red Alert. Shields up. Evasive action, Mr. Sulu. Try to get them to talk about proper floors to dance on.

McCoy [entering the bridge]: What the blazes is going on, Jim! I have people leaving the rec room and taking their musical instruments with them, refusing to play!

Chekov: Shields up Keptain.

Kirk: Not now, Bones, we have a situation.

Uhura: Sir, they are ignoring the dance floor and are getting more hostile.

Sulu: Evasive actions ineffective, Captain. Impact imminent!

Spock: Attempting to jam them with filk music.

Kirk: Brace yourselves, here it comes!!

[The ship rocks hard. Sulu and Chekov fly out of their chairs. Kirk spins around in his. Uhura rakes her hands across her panel but stays seated. McCoy hits the floor, and Spock helps him up.]

Scotty [over intercom]: Engineering to Captain Kirk. What is going on up there! The matter and antimatter are becoming unbalanced, and I've been told that I can nae longer dance my native Scottish pieces!

Kirk: Hang in there Scotty. Analysis, Mr. Spock.

Spock: Shields were ineffective and we are at zero velocity. Also, it is quite obvious that Mr. Scott should not be dancing Road to the Isles or any other 19th century piece in a middle ages recreation group. That is not what the group is there for.

McCoy: Not what they are there for?? Why you inhuman, pointed-eared hobgoblin, the group is there to have fun, and dancing such out of period pieces *is* fun. What is wrong with that!

Spock: Doctor, please, once again you are letting your emotions interfere with a logical evaluation of the situation. The group is created to recreate the middle ages. There are other groups in the universe where such non-period dances can be learned and danced.

McCoy: But not everybody can do that, Mr. Spock! And besides, not everything has to do with logic. Many people in this group enjoy these dances, and they see it as part of their current middles ages atmosphere. They don't have time or the ability to join these other groups, and they and their friends want to dance these dances. What is wrong with that?

Spock: Nothing, Doctor, but they do not have to do it at my event.

McCoy: You unemotional, computer brained...

Kirk: Gentleman!! Get...a hold....of...yourselves! Can't you see what is happening! The mailing list is drawing us in, making us argue over this side issue, instead of doing what is important – researching period dances, finding period music [music swells here], and teaching such period dances to all who wish to learn. We must....find a ...defense.

Chekov: We could teach them Amoroso...it was inwented in Russia.

Uhura: Searching the archives for original copies of Arbeau.

Sulu: Don't look at me, no one does Japanese dance in the SCA.

McCoy: I'm a Doctor, not a dance master!

Spock: Perhaps I could teach the group some calming Vulcan meditation techniques.

Kirk: There is no time...wait, we have one chance. Uhura, open a channel.

Uhura: Hailing frequencies open, Captain.

Kirk: Back me up everyone. [Sort of singing, but really talking.] Picture yourself...in a boat...on a ... river ... with ... TANgerine dreams, and ... MAAARmalaide skies...

Spock: The mailing list has halted its assault, and the message count has decreased. It seams to be working.

Kirk: Somebody caalls you, yooooooou answer quite....slowly.

Spock: People are unsubscribing from the mailing list.

Kirk: The GIRL ... with ka...li...de...scope eyes. Cellophane flowers...of yellow...and green....towering OVER your Heeeeaaaaad! Look for the girl...with sun...in her eyes????? And she's gone (gone (gone (gone)))!!!!!

The Bridge Crew singing backup: Lucy in the Sky, with Diamonds...Lucy in the Sky, with Diamonds...Lucy in the Sky, with Diamonds....ahhhhhhhhhh!

Spock: Everyone has unsubscribed. The mailing list is dead. There is no traffic. You may stop your attack, Captain.

McCoy: For the love of humanity Jim, please stop singing.

[Kirk leans back in his chair, drained.]

Kirk: To be honest, I kind of enjoyed that. Maybe I'll make a record or something.

[Sulu and Chekov roll their eyes.]

McCoy: The world just isn't ready for that, Jim.

Kirk: No, probably not. Mr. Sulu, ahead warp factor 2.

Sometimes I wish my body was like a Microsoft Windows machine.

That’s fine. I’ll wait for you to stop laughing. Just catch your breath and join me when you’ve composed yourself. I can wait.

There. All better now?

Now then. Think about it. What if we could reset ourselves when we just aren’t working well?

For example, right now I’m sick. I’ve been working way to hard, under a ton of stress. I’m starting to behave the same way my PC does when I’ve left it on for more than a few days. The memory is being filled up. It is slow and sluggish. Programs start to fail.

But, when you reboot, everything is fine.

If I could reboot, everything would be fine too.

I’m starting to get a runny nose and sore throat? Just reboot and it call gets cleaned up and goes away.

Sitting on the toilet all constipated? Just reboot and everything will flow nicely.

Can’t keep a thought in your head, or the exact word you are looking for is right on the tip of your tongue but just not coming to you? Reboot, and you’ll be all set!

Too many things to do that you can’t even schedule what you want to do next? Just reboot, and then all the clutter is gone and you can prioritize.

Someone you are talking to is boring you to death and you can’t think of a way out? “I’m sorry, I need to reboot. Back in five!” And there you are, five blissful minutes of solitude.

In a foul mood? Reboot and everything is fine.

Got insomnia? Reboot, but just make the cycle time longer!

Then again, it would be much more fun and useful if one could reboot other people, and not just yourself.

I’m home sick today. That shouldn’t be much of a shocker. It seems that almost everyone I know (including my wife) is coming down with something. So far, Marcus is fine. Let’s hope that stays that way!

Speaking of the Marcus Man, he is doing quite well. Now that he’s learned how to crawl in a forward direction, he is crawling. Everywhere.

He crawls to where we lay out the kitty food. So we have a barrier up with a cat sized crawl space below.

He crawls to the liquor cabinet and opens the doors – so that is now locked.

He crawls over to the cats…they have now learned to run away and elevate themselves.

I’ve installed safety panels on the wall outlets. This weekend I’ll lock the kitchen cabinets so we don’t have to worry about that.

He’s pulling himself up on chests and stuff. If he were to start walking next week, I wouldn’t be surprised. On the other hand, I wouldn’t be surprised if it were months.

Our favorite game when I bring him home from daycare is to help him press the garage door closing button. I think he’s starting to learn cause and effect. When we get there now he likes to try to press the button himself!

Oh, and of all the toys he has, his favorite is a big cardboard cereal box. That’s my boy!

Anywho…

Part of the reason why I’m sick is most likely stressed. When I get stressed, I get sick. Sore throat, fever even at times. Work is stressing me out. We’ve finally gotten some good news, but I’m tired of all the bad news and some good news. I want *great* news. That is what I’m working towards, but it is tough. No wonder why so many companies don’t make it.

To help me get better, I took Nyquil last night and went to be at around 7 PM (which is way early for me). I woke up at 3, 4, 5, 6, and 7 AM. I finally got out of bed at around 9 AM, with a horde of weird dreams that I won’t describe here.

Tea is really nice on the throat.

Yesterday I went to a job faire at the U of M to do some recruiting. Not that we have any job openings, but things vary month to month, and having resumes on hand is a good thing. We are very open to the applicants so they know what is going on.

Getting home was fun. I drove down Huron and there was a huge backup. So I went the other direction to Plymouth to get on 23, which was backed up even worse (all the way to Huron). So I turned around again and went to the west side of Ann Arbor. I cut through Maple/Miller and stopped off at Play It Again Sports. I picked up some 30 pound dumbbells. The workout is going well – I figured it was time to up the weights. There were 90 pound dumbbells there!! I couldn’t imagine people lifting those with one arm!

Yuck, I hate being sick.

I should be at work, bringing in money, and not here blowing my nose, coughing up colorful things, and trying, without success, to get a nap

As it is, I may as well stay awake so I can get a good night’s sleep tonight.