If you are not aware, my friend Shawn likes to tease me every day by telling me, in great detail, what she is preparing for dinner.

Now, don't get me wrong. She is a very good cook. So is my wife, and I love what I have for dinner. In fact, given the ingredients and meals Shawn makes, her meals usually aren't what I would choose to have for dinner in the first place.

But that doesn't stop her from telling me every day, usually between three and four in the afternoon, exactly what she is making, all the ingredients, and how she is preparing it.

This of course makes me incredibly hungry. My usual response is to eat a Hershey's chocolate bar and a bag of buttered microwave popcorn.

Hmph.

Well, now it is my turn, baby.

While growing up in Philly, a Sunday morning tradition at our house was to have Lox and Bagels for brunch. I capitalized those words because it is more than just some fish thrown on a hunk of bread. No, this was lox (not nova, it was the real stuff), with fresh bagels, fresh vegetables, butter and cream cheese.

The vegetables included lettuce (different varieties), purple onions, scallions, peppers (yellow and red), olives, carrot sticks, celery sticks, tomatoes, cucumbers, and whatever else we felt like having. During the summer and fall, most of the vegetables came freshfrom my Dad's garden.

There was also plenty of juice, coffee, and milk.

In addition to the lox, we'd also have some sort of white fish - whole fish, with the head, tail, and all. I can still hear my Bubba asking for head for some odd reason.

This Saturday, before my parents drove back to Philly, we had everyone over one more time and had brunch. I got the bagels from Zingerman's, and my Dad prepared all the veggies. We had thirty bagels in all, of many different varieties.

It is amazing how wonderful non-cooked food can smell as it is being cleaned and prepared for the table.

Here are some more details for you, Shawn.

I make my bagel the same way every time. I usually pick an onion bagel and toast it until it is golden, but not burnt. I put butter on both sides. The butter melts quickly and drips a bit on the plate. I build the sandwich from the flat side up. I start with a layer of lox. Not thin, but not too thick either. Then I add a thick layer of lettuce and a ring of onions. I times I may forgo the onions and instead eat scallions, or sometimes I might have both.

Each bite is warm and delicious, and always reminds me of home.

Here are some pictures of what the spread looked like.

This picture shows the plates full of food that Shawn wasn't able to eat.

Elaine's brother Dan shows a smug expression while thinking, "Gee, today Marcus had more lox than Shawn did. By the way, who the heck is Shawn?"
Elaine is thinking, "Chuck, this is a really stupid entry. You know you plan on inviting Shawn and Reid over for a lox and bagel brunch."
Marcus is thinking, "This piece of bread belongs on the floor."

My parents should be thinking, "This is a far better spread than Shawn could ever make." Instead what they are thinking is, "Chuck, you could give us some warning before you take our picture. Oh, and toast us two more bagels."

So, there you go. A wonderful brunch with wonderful food.

Shawn, I hope you are getting hungry!

I think I’ve figured out the ultimate weapon for our military. I’m not sure how to implement it yet, but I do think it would be cheap, easy to produce, and deadly.

I’m talking about Vacuum Weapons (VW). I’m not talking about vacuum cleaners, although they could be weapons if you threw them at people or dropped them from a large height. No, I’m talking about the vacuum of space type of vacuum.

Think about it. Anyone caught in the vacuum of space dies very quickly. In fact, if a person is exposed to vacuum, their body will explode. They have to wear specially designed environmental suits to survive such a vacuum. The ruptures to non-organic materials would be equally devastating if the vacuum were strong (pure) enough.

Hey, we’ve even seen simulations showing alien bodies sucked through incredibly tiny holes due to vacuum.

How would such VWs be delivered as a weapons system?

Easy, and we already have the technology: vacuum tubes!

These vacuum tubes have many useful properties, especially compared to modern electronics. They can me manufactures with much higher breakdown voltages than semiconductors. They are more efficient for high frequency and fast rise-time applications. These tubes can provide the strength behind any power applications. And we can now make them much smaller and incredibly efficient.

Imagine, if you will, a billion nano-level integrated vacuum tubes, generating an energy pulse of such awesome power that the very fabric of space itself is folded into a higher physical space-time and the seven known fundamental forces were briefly unified into a single new effulgent Prime Effect, the likes have not been seen since two black holes have collided, against which no construction of man built upon mere energy and matter can withstand.

Or something like that.

I’m feeling really lazy. I just got over what might have been the flu. I was very sick over the weekend, which made all those activities fun. We even went out to the Outback for an anniversary dinner with Elaine’s parents, and the meal didn’t excite me at all.

This was the Outback, folks.

But anyway, I’m really tired. I have two major writing tasks to do out at work. The one just dumped on me is a form that has around 50 questions that take a long time to answer, and it is really important to do right and also do fast.

The other is the first part of a Quality Assurance document that I’m working on. It is hard to figure out, and I just want to make some progress on it, except that all the time at work I’m constantly getting interrupted with fire drills.

Heck, today I didn’t even get to sit at my desk until 1 PM, and then I had a phone interview.

So, I’m tired, and feeling lazy.

This is why I haven’t put up the Halloween pictures.

This is why my resume isn’t updated, even though I like to do that once a year.

This is why I haven’t started my holiday shopping.

This is why I still haven’t sent out my final two thank you cards for Marcus’ baby shower gifts. Yes, I did it before, but apparently they were lost in the mail so I need to resend.

This is why, when I get home, after I spend time with Elaine and Marcus and they go to bed (at around 8 PM, which is really early for me), all I really want to do is play Diablo.

Kill. Teleport. Kill.

Bring on the minions and uniques.

LIBERALS - POND SCUM!!

By Annette Culture

Liberals are hopping mad about me! They are jealous because I am smarter, taller and blonder than any liberal. I am. I have 780 footnotes to prove it.

In my book "Blasphemy!" I gave 123 reasons why Bill Clinton should be thrown out of office. That has nothing to do with the previous paragraph, and he's no longer in office, but I just love to say it anyway. 123. Count them. They're in the footnotes.

I hate Liberals. They're all traitors. Anyone who questions me is a Liberal. Anyone who disagrees with this country is a Liberal. Anyone who is a Liberal is unpatriotic. Anyone who is unpatriotic is not an American. They are foreigners!

So that raises the question, how did all these foreigners get in here? I mean, there are now more foreigners in America than Americans---how can this be? Blasphemy! We have to get rid of them. Maybe we should put them all in airplanes and ram them into the U.N. Building. Wouldn't that be sweet?

Or maybe we should lock them in a room with Saddam's Weapons of Mass Destruction. We're finding them, you know. Those two trucks they found in the desert? Liberals believe they're ice cream trucks or something. But Iraqis don't eat ice cream, so we know that's another lie from Saddam Hussein and his Liberal traitor Democrat friends in Washington. Like Bill Clinton. And his ugly wife Hillary, who is neither as tall nor as blonde as I am! I can prove it.

People say I'm a raving, incoherent bitch. They're just jealous. I'm blonder than they are. Taller. With nicer legs. A little boney, maybe, but nice. But that's not what the Liberal traitor pundits see. They just see PMS. Well, yeah, there's PMS, but there's also footnotes. 780 of them. That's more than Hillary had in her book, the midget bitch. (I'm taller than her and Bill put together.)

Liberal traitors forget that back in the Clinton days, the country was full of Liberal traitors. They were high up in the government. The greatest American of all time, Joseph McCarthy, knew this, but Liberals have slandered his good name. Slander! He should have shoved them all in a truck and rammed them into a mosque filled with explosives. I could have driven it faster than anyone because my legs are the longest and I could have pressed the pedal down farther.

What the hell was that all about, you ask? I don't know, read the footnotes. I have 780 of them. That should keep you busy until I write my next book, "Tyranny!!!" and pocket another $20 mil.

(guest blog entry by John Grabowski)

No, not the television show.

To the left is a link to another page that lists some of my friends who have web pages or some sort of online presence. If you would like to be added, please let me know and supply a link! Using the comments facility here is fine. If you are on this list and would like to be removed, please let me know that also.

Thanks!

Wow.

I watched last Wednesday’s episode of Enterprise, called Twilight, and all I can say is: Wow.

That episode ranked up there with my favorites of any Star Trek, and even compares well to some Babylon 5 episodes.

I was concerned before I started watching it, because I knew it had something to do with time travel (an overused staple of Star Trek), but the reviews on the internet were extremely positive, so I thought I’d give it a shot.

When watching Enterprise I’m usually playing Diablo II. This time, right from the beginning, I realized I wanted all my attention on the show and I exited the game.

Yes, it was that good.

It opened with Archer waking up in his cabin because the ship is under attack. He goes to leave but there is a guard outside his door. The guard won’t let him leave, but he gets by him anyway and goes on the bridge where T’Pol, who is in a Captain’s uniform, is commanding the ship and orders him off the bridge. Before that can happen events overtake the crew and we see that they are too late, the big bad of the season, the Xindi, have activated their weapon and, before our eyes, they blow up the Earth.

It doesn’t slow down after that.

Six months earlier while in the Expanse, Archer was hit with an anomaly that basically put him in the movie Momento – he can’t remember anything that happens to him since the anomaly hits. That is, no long term memory. So every morning he wakes up thinking it was right before that happened. Obviously, he can’t command the ship after a while.

He is told what is happened by T’Pol, finding out it is 12 years since the Earth was destroyed and that the remaining humans, all 6,000 of them (yes, that is just six thousand) are hiding on Ceti Alpha V (this is pre-Khan!). The Xindi destroyed every Earth colony (Mars, Alpha Centauri) and is hunting every human down too.

Of course, they figure out how to cure Archer eventually, in that future, and that cure affects a change in the past causing the giant reset button to be hit.

I know, that sounds really bad.

While the time part was hokey, it wasn’t time travel. Basically, this is an episode that will show you the future of humanity if Archer and crew don’t succeed in their mission. As long as they are rare (and they usually are in any show, even Star Trek), these kind of shows are a lot of fun. Heck, Babylon 5 did this kind of episode in “Babylon Squared” where you saw Babylon 5 get destroyed by the Shadows.

I love seeing possible futures, and how the characters would change and react to extreme circumstances. That is good drama, and it makes for an excellent story.

As I said, I thoroughly enjoyed this episode, and have been enjoying most of the episodes this season. If they keep the quality up, they could have a hit on their hands, on the order of Next Generation.

Unfortunately, the scenes for next week show the crew in some Wild West theme. I don’t want to prejudge, but it is hard not to: ugh.

I have this horrid feeling that someone might read this entry, look at this week's Wild West episode, find it crap, and take away my science fiction geek status.

So, with that caveat, I'm going to go out of my way again to watch Enterprise. It has started to become worth my time.

I saw this on Middlebridge (an SCA mailing list for the Middle Kingdom), and thought I would repeat it here.

If you go out determined to find something, you're liable to find it whether or not it's there. Just ask a few people in Salem some centuries back.

Oh, and another one from the comments: Offense thieves: they take it when it's not offered.

The other night Elaine and I got to go out to see a movie.

That type of event happens infrequently of late, though we are trying. Fortunately, we have family and friends that don’t mind babysitting the Marcus Man, so all is well.

So, this…Sunday was it? This Sunday we went out to see Bubba Ho-Tep, starring Bruce Campbell.

Was it a great movie?

No.

Was it a good movie?

Absolutely.

It was a rare kind of movie for me. The pacing was slow. There was some action, but it wasn’t an action movie.

It was just a well done, well written, well acted, and well directed movie that told a fine story and kept me interested for 92 minutes.

I enjoy Bruce Campbell’s movies. I’m not a big horror buff, but I did like “Army of Darkness,” and in general I like the seeing him on the screen.

Here he plays a very old Elvis, spending his days in a retirement home. And in this movie, well, after a while I forgot I was watching Bruce Campbell play Elvis and instead only saw Elvis trying to come to grips both with where his life has gone and with an unfortunate growth in a very unfortunate area.

This film is a horror flick. To be honest, the Egyptian Undead Creature wasn’t as scary as the old age home itself. Ugh, what a ghastly place to end up.

No, no one was evil there. In fact, the staff was competent and caring and, well, human. But that just made it worse. The place was in a slow state of disrepair, the food was blah, and there was no excitement or purpose. People who ended up there already seemed to have one foot in the grave.

This movie took everything seriously. The characters were treated with respect, and the idea of something supernatural happening to the residents was presented in a compelling and mature manner while not going over the top.

Campbell portrays himself as a B movie actor. I hope he continues to make more B movies like this one.

Now that I’ve stepped down as Kingdom Exchequer and the Halloween party is done, I can finally take a breather.

I have nothing on my plate that I have to get done, so I can relax!

Well, okay. So yesterday I went to Improv. And tonight I’m hosting Buffy, so this evening is shot. And tomorrow I’m helping a friend with a report. Thursday is dance. Saturday I have a black-tie affair to go to.

Crap.

I really will get a breather. Even though I technically am busy, when you don’t have things having over your head that you have to do, life seems less complicated and more relaxing. Buffy night isn’t any work, just fun. The report won’t take long, and I like numbers. Dance is always good, and when I’m not dancing I’ve been practicing juggling again.

Saturday will be awesome because I get to see Elaine in a gown (*drool*), and I get to wear a tux. I’ll post a picture.

Speaking of which, I just bought one. I’ve never owned a tuxedo before, but I seem to need one at least once a year. So I decided to get one. And if I may say so, it makes me look really good. I went all out. It is a hair away from traditional (three button coat, for example), with a vest, and I have both a tie and a bowtie (the kind you have to tie yourself) to chose from. I also got shoes just for this tuxedo, as well as a new overcoat.

Shopping is fun.

I’ll be putting up a summary of the party soon, complete with pictures, as soon as I get some time free (it is looking like it will be Saturday). Right now I’ll just make a few points:

· This was probably the best party we’ve ever thrown. Probably because of the Superhero theme.
· I think we had over 40, maybe 50 people there.
· Everyone had fantastic costumes and was very creative.
· The decorations were awesome.
· I, especially in my Yo-Yo Girl costume, make a very ugly girl.
· Elaine makes a very sexy Supergirl.
· I buy way too much food and stuff whenever I shop for more than five people.
· I was amazed that a room full of superheroes could do nothing about the power outage.

I’m trying to think of what next year’s theme should be. I’d like it to be broad so that people have a wide choice for creative costumes. That is why superheroes worked so well.

Suggestions are welcome.

One idea I have is to request people dress up as something very scary. It could be a traditional Halloween monster. Or it could be something that just scares you. Like a Physics Professor. Or a Republican.

If I wanted to be really scary, I could probably be Yo-Yo Girl again.

This is kinda graphic.

Arbeau died tonight (Friday), around 9:45. At least, that is when I found him.

We had a ton of trick-or-treaters all evening. I was in the den playing on the computer and watching television while handing out candy. Elaine was already in bed after giving Marcus a bath and his final feeding for the night.

Today I had picked up some medicine for Little Arbeau. It was antibiotics and an appetite enhancer, but in the form of ear cream. Really! You take a small amount and rub it on he inside of his ear where it get absorbed. I got it at around lunch time and applied it. He was sitting by his food resting, and he took it really well. I was going to the kitchen to get the medicine to give him his second dose for the day.

When I came home from work he was in the coat closet by the garage, in the back, sleeping. I pet him and he purred.

But when I went to get the medicine I saw him on the floor, right where the family room meets the breakfast nook. It was all messy and I knew something was wrong.

He wasn’t breathing.

I touched him and he didn’t move.

I had no idea how to react.

I went upstairs and told Elaine that he was dead, and we hugged each other. I told her I’d take care of it. I didn’t want her to see him the way I saw him, let alone have to clean that up.

It took me quite a while to get up the nerve. I couldn’t at first. I called two friends and hung up before their phone rang – I wanted them to do it for me, but I eventually felt I had to do it myself.

So, um, I eventually got him in a plastic bag and then a paper one.

He was so cold.

That was the worst part, how cold he was. I didn’t expect that for some reason. Just never occurred to me.

I took him to the emergency vet clinic, where they will cremate him. I’m glad they were open all night.

The drive home was when I lost it, just seeing that image of him on the floor.

I spent time with Elaine when I got him, and checked on Marcus.

I then spent a while on the phone with my parents and instant messaging with some friends.

Pythag is fine. Looking back I think he was trying to tell me something was up at around 9 PM, but I couldn’t tell. He later just wanted to snuggle and play and such. I think he’s upstairs with Elaine now.

I’m really surprised he died so quickly. I had hopes for the medicine. Frankly, he was really happy up until the end. Yesterday he purred a lot and got a lap and all.

I’m also amazed that he made it almost to the kitchen. He was on the floor with nothing around him. He could have passed away in the closet on all the stuff on the floor messing up a ton of stuff. Instead he got up and walked out to the clear floor.

Right up to the end, he was such a good little guy.

Goodbye, Arbeau.