I'm back!
Okay, fine, it isn't much of a surprise, since I already did a pathetic entry
that told everyone I was back.
No biggie.
My work went okay. I love it when my competitors not only know me personally,
but they mention my company and products by name, and point me out in the audience
during the talk. A very silly thing to do. My papers went over pretty well.
Europeans do not seem to like questions, but I still got some good ones, and
after both talks people came up to me with more questions and asking for product
information.
ITEC is much smaller than the US version. At least 1/8th the size. The good
part of that is that I could visit all the booths and have good conversations.
The better part about ITEC is that it is in London, so I got to spend time there.
The bad part about London is that it is, well, expensive. Like Paris and New
York, the costs are twice as much as Ann Arbor. The hotel was $250/night. Internet
access was $30/day. A decent meal would cost $50-$60, a day pass on the Underground
was $10, and a cup of coffee at Starbucks was $8.
My hotel room was tiny, too. One bed, no closet, and only two small drawers
for clothes. The toilet wasn't connected to the bathroom sink - you have to
walk around a couple of walls to reach it. Quite odd.
At night during the conference I got some time to veg in my room and watched
television. British shows are odd. However, what is odder is that with american
shows, they cut to commercials right in the middle of scenes. In the spots where
they would normally cut, like at a high dramatic point with the fade out, they
would, well, fade out, then fade right back in. I don't get it.
Elaine arrived Thursday afternoon, much later than I expected because as her
plane arrived in Detroit from Toronto to pick her up got struck by lighting
as it was landing. Yes, hit by lightning. The plane and everyone was fine, but
they decided not to use that one, just incase it developed super powers or something.
So, they flew in another, hopefully lightning free aircraft from Minnesota.
It was great to see her, I missed her incredibly. Now all I missed were Marcus
and Pythagoras.
One of the best parts about coming to London was that we got to visit our friend
Maria (Elayna in the SCA)! She visited my hotel on Monday night for dinner.
I was wonderful to chat over dinner, but I was so incredibly exhausted from
the flight (left at 9:30 PM, arrived at 10:30 AM, not much sleep on the flight)
that we had to call it an early night. She's doing great, taking classes in
London at a great school for Interior Design. She's not only doing well, she's
also getting great grades in her math classes!!!
We spent most of our time there with her. Thursday night we saw a theater, er,
sorry, a theatre show: Cyrano. Everything was really good, the stage was amazing,
as were most of the actors. Our only complaint was unfortunately with the lead.
Cyrano himself was kinda monotone and bland.
The next day we spent on a pleasant Thames river ride to Hampton Court, seeing
all the site and then touring the home of some of Britain's former Royalty.
Saturday we got to see Westminster Abbey: totally amazing. A coronation in that
site would be spectacular, as they have been in the past, and they are already
in some of the planning stages for the next one.
Then we finally got to visit the Victoria and Albert Museum! Okay, last time
we were in England we were there, but only for about 30 minutes! Leif, also
formerly from Ann Arbor, joined us, and we had a grand olde time. The V&A
museum is amazing, and I highly recommend it.
Here are the obligotory pictures.
This is from, um, somewhere. During the Victorian Era, scientists would take
plastic castings of historical sites. This one was probably 40' tall. For some
strange reason I found it empowering.
I'm not into crosses, but when they are larger than you and just this cool,
you have to take a picture of it.
This is all of us, from left to right: Me, Elaine, Maria, and Wolverine (I mean,
Lief).
The women in the statue behind us are there because there isn't enough naked
breasts on my site.
I have no idea who took this picture.
This is what I like to do on vacation: sleep on other people's couches. This
gives a decent view of Maria's flat.
As a good guest, I was trying not to fall asleep.
We have some more pictures, but they aren't very exciting, and I'd have to
scan them in because I left my camera at the hotel the first two days. It needed
sleep more than I did.
Here is something interesting about England: I saw very few greatly overweight
people. Those that were were slightly overweight, but mainly everyone seemed
to be pretty trim. Also, places were built to accomodate that. For example,
at the V&A Museum, in the jewelry area, you had to go through a very tight
turnstile. I had trouble getting through! Other places were also narrow or had
small seating.
Everyone there not only has a cell phone, but they also do big business in ringtones,
backgrounds, and downloadable phone games. That hasn't caught on here yet.
The food was wonderful. I know people complain about English food, but honestly
I've never had any trouble with it. The hotel has the best tiramisu!
The flight back was fine, but the trip to the airport wasn't. Most of the Underground
was like the highways of Michigan: under construction. So instead of just switching
trains once, we had to switch four times, with me lugging a big suitcase up
and down lots of stairs.
When we got home, we went to Elaine's parents who kindly watch Marcus for
us while we were gone. He was so glad to see us!! He was bouncing up and down
and couldn't contain his glee! Of course, Elaine and I felt the same way.
There really is no place like home.
This is a ping to show everyone that yes, I'm alive, and that yes, I will be writing up more posts now I'm back from England.
I've even got dirty pictures.
Aside from the normal wonderful aspects of being a parent, having a child brought me another unexpected pleasure today.
While eating lunch at the ITEC conference (and yes, the British food was just fine, thank you very much, especially the raspberry Crème Brule) I fell into a conversation with a fellow from Finland. We talked about simulation, training, HLA, and networks. He asked me some interesting questions and I did as well. He even asked me for a copy of some of my literature, so my business work is at least moving forward.
He then mentioned that he had recently been in Greece with his family, and I asked him about his family, finding out he has a three-year-old son.
It was then that I discovered that when you meet another person who has a child, you always have something to talk about. I think we spent a good fifteen minutes telling anecdotes about our children, and he told me how after two years the cognitive interactions go way up and are a joy to behold.
Of course, I now miss my family even more, which I didn’t think was possible.
I guess it doesn’t matter where you are from. Children and children, and raising them has similarities no matter what part of the world you are from. I suppose that is obvious, but to me, until today, it was never that apparent.
Speaking of Marcus, he is definitely learning and making connections. When Elaine left for dance on Thursday and I stayed home, Marcus went into the other room, grabbed his coat and hat, came back to me, held them up and asked, “Bye bye??”
I melted.
It is also quite funny. He associates leaving Daycare with putting on his hat and coat, and now that it is warmer, he gets very upset when I take him ‘bye bye’ without putting them on. He needs to learn what the seasons are! We are making it a point now, when the weather warrants it, to take him places without his hat or coat.
He also seems to say “bye bye!” all the time now. Seriously. No matter where we are, he wants to be somewhere else. I’m not sure where that somewhere else is. Usually that place is where Mommy is, but he’ll do it when she’s around too. At home he wants to be at Daycare. At Daycare he wants to be at home.
Maybe he just likes to travel?
Or maybe he is just softening me up for when he asks for a driver’s license.
It is Thursday. Thursdays are when I usually accompany my wife and son to the Cynnabar dance.
Tonight, I’m doing something different. “Elaine, I’ll keep Marcus here at home and take care of him. I also have laundry to do and other prep for my trip next week. You go and have fun.” Sure, it will be fun having some alone time with the Marcus Man, but I have an ulterior motive.
I want to watch the live two hour finale of The Apprentice.
Yes, a television show.
Worse, a reality television show.
I’ve not watched any of the other reality tv shows and had absolutely no interest in them. But with The Apprentice, I can’t help myself.
The world of business fascinates me. Heck, that is what I do for a living: making deals and bringing in millions of dollars in contracts. While the tasks on the show are a bit contrived, it does highlight the interactions that happen in the business world.
I can’t get enough of the show. I read every article about it that I find. I’ve gone to the web site. I get ticked off when I find out who was fired before I’ve had a chance to see the show on my VCR. I’ve cheered when people I didn’t like got fired, and felt sad when those I felt were worthy didn’t make it.
I even watched the Dateline special yesterday that devoted its entire hour to talking about The Apprentice.
At odd times I’ve even though about applying for the show next year.
Don’t worry, I haven’t.
While I’m not a huge Donald Trump fan, this is a perfect show for him. I adore hearing his platitudes on business, the board room discussions on the candidates, and how he uses this series as a vehicle to promote all of this other products.
Think about it. They are actually paying him $50,000+ per episode to promote his financial empire.
So yes, I’m hooked on a reality television show. The bad news is that I don’t know anyone else who watches it, so I have no one to talk to about it. I blather on about the show to my wife, and she nods her head politely and makes appropriate noises.
And that is why I’m skipping dance tonight. By 9 PM Marcus will be in bed, and I’ll be sitting in front of the television watching and finding out, along with twenty million other people, who will be Donald Trump’s first Apprentice.
Oh, and I should be able to get my laundry done too.
I just realized that haven’t written in a week. I guess I’m not surprised. Work has been incredibly busy last week, and I’m still doing stuff from meetings we had.
Also, I’m preparing for my trip to England where I’m attending a conference. So I had to presentations to prepare, plus two more for papers I wrote for a conference that’s happening at the same time that I obviously can’t attend.
So, I’m tired.
I also got sick. Had a fever on Sunday and a bit of it on Monday. I’m feeling a lot better but am obviously still sick. I hope I’m better by Sunday when I leave.
Elaine will be coming out while I’m there. It turns out that if I stay until Sunday I save the company over $500, and this is after paying for food and the hotel. Therefore we paid for Elaine to visit for three days out of our own pocket, and that will make it worth it. Also, a friend of ours is living in London now, and it will be great to see her!
I could use a nap though. Way too much to do, and since I’m traveling to the SCA event (Unicorn) this weekend, most of my weekend is shot too. I’m very glad I’m going – it just makes things more hectic.
I also signed up for the next Second City class. I decided to have my cake and eat it too: I’ll still take the Monday classes I’m doing now (the end at the end of May) while switching to the Saturday classes with Second City. After May I’ll also show up on the occasional Monday to see my friends there. That also means I won’t be doing much SCA stuff during that time.
If I can get web access while across the pond, I’ll update my journal.
I died last night.
And no, it wasn’t in a game.
At Improv our teacher ran us through an exercise where he’d talk us through an environment, and that environment would effect us. So he’d tell us how hot it is, then make it hotter, then have us get a cool drink but not drink it right away. That sort of thing.
After going through a whole bunch of activities, we visualized having a deadly disease, and that we were lying in bed at a hospital, really weak and close to death. Smelling the hospital smells, feeling the bed and looking at the room.
Feeling the despair.
Then the person we loved the most was with us. It was Elaine, of course. I could feel her next to me, holding my hand. The smell of her hair and the look of love in her eyes.
Then we had only thirty seconds to live. We knew we were going to die, and this was the last chance to say what we wanted to say.
Honestly, two competing ideas formed in my head. The one that won was me telling Elaine how much I loved her, and how sorry I was that I was dying, and apologizing over and over again.
The other that wouldn’t leave my mind was that I wanted to tell her stupid jokes to make her laugh.
Then I was alone. Dying. All alone.
One of my worst fears, actually.
Slowly we felt ourselves dying, and then we were dead.
And, just as suddenly, we were alive. In the afterlife. I could look around and see things. I could see everything. My wife greeted me, even though I knew she died much much later than me. All my cats were there. Eventually I was able to see and hug all my family and friends.
I knew everything. That is what I pictured heaven like. Total understanding and peace. And comfort.
In a way, it was shame we had to wake up.
It was supposed to be a simple demo for the SCA.
Some girl scouts were having some sort of function, and they wanted to learn medieval dance. Teenagers.
Simple, not a problem.
We’d start at 7:45 PM, teach two different groups, and be done by 8:45 PM.
Easy.
When Anne and I arrived at the banquet hall, we realized that things were quite as we were led to believe.
There were two hundred people there. Yes, that’s right. Two zero zero. And no, I wasn’t using my abacus this time. Maybe fifty were parents.
And the rest? Between the ages of five and ten.
Most were in some sort of costume. Many medieval types, with lots of Sleeping Beauties and Princesses, some just dressed up, and one looking like a Can-Can Girl.
We walked into the hall, and scores of girls were running around screaming, sliding on the floor, screeching, and having a blast. But they weren’t dancing.
I had the time of my life.
There were some good gentles from Roaring Wastes, two of who were playing music.
Adele started it off with Parsla and others helping. Adele had a microphone but was still having a hard time being heard. She picked an excellent dance to start with: the Montard Bransle. Very simple dance, with a line of four people, side by side. They take 8 singles, then in order turn around in four kicks. We all went out there to help teach the dance to people, and got them through it. They all seemed to enjoy it.
It was time for the next dance and no one knew what to do. We finally realized that an easy one to do would be the Maltese Branse. That is the really simple one where after some doubles left and right, you enter the circle moving sideways and snapping your fingers, then clap three times.
I volunteered to teach. Adele asked if I needed the microphone. I just smiled.
This is why I’m taking Improv courses, and all my SCA demo experience came back to me.
I went to the center of the dance floor and all the girls were milling around, talking loudly and, well, just being kids. I took a good look.
I was right. I was the only man in the room.
So I stood there, feeling very masculine in my very cool Viking tunic.
(Cut to a Halloween at Cybernet a few years ago. Many are in costume. I’m wearing the same set of garb. Hear me say, “For the eighth time, this is a man’s Viking tunic and not a dress!!!” Return to the demo.)
The only guy there. And a room full of kids filled with sugar and parents filled with exhaustion.
Time to begin.
With my own loud voice, I said I was about to teach a dance and for everyone to come close to me. Closer. No, closer!! They were all laughing as they got into a huge bundle right around me where no one could move. “Wait, not that close! Step back!”
Next I asked if they wanted to learn a new dance. Lots of “YES!!” and screaming! I claimed that it didn’t sound like they wanted to learn. That produced an even louder sound of screaming “YEEESSSS!!!!” and screeching.
I’d forgotten that young girls can screech. I step to the side to avoid some falling plaster and set up the dance. They quickly got the double to the left and right, and I requested very nicely that, when I show them the next step, they do not laugh at me.
The next part was me raising my arms above my hands, moving sideways to the center, moving my hips, and snapping my fingers.
For some reason they found this falling down funny.
They learn the steps and the band is about to play. I learn a Girl Scout three-finger salute which means, “Please settle down and listen.” It actually works. Mostly. Well, somewhat.
Everyone did the dance really well. What was impressive was that they all clapped together, in the proper rhythm on the beats! This was over one hundred people dancing at the same time.
I’ve never taught so many people at once!
We were at a loss on what to teach them next. The only one that made any sense was Sellinger’s Round. It had lots of fun parts in it, but also had four verses, a chorus that would never work, and way too much to teach.
Therefore, I did the only thing I could think of.
I butchered it.
The musicians just repeated the music for the first verse over and over. We kept the first verse, sliding eight times left and then right. Then we jumped to the second verse, the Beerhall Run. I renamed it just a Run, and they loved rushing into center while whooping and then rushing out. We repeated the first verse, and then I had them do arming. It took a little effort for everyone to find a partner, but once again we were all impressed with how quickly they got it.
If there would have been smaller groups, I bet they would have been able to learn the full dance with a bit of practice!
Parsla and I had some girls with us in another circle in the center for the teaching part, but then for the actual dance we disbanded that group to the main circle line. There was an even number, so I decided to just stay in the center of the huge circle and call it from there.
That was my mistake.
The dance went quite well. They got the sliding to the left and right, and then I called then in to me for the Run part.
All of them decided that the dance must have included shattering my ear drums.
And that part is done twice in a row!!
As I said earlier, I had a fantastic time.
The rest of the dance went well, even the arming part, and we ran through the entire dance twice.
We let everyone rest a bit, while took the opportunity to guzzle a few gallons of water. At a loss of what to dance next, we went back to the Maltese Branse, which the girls seemed to love.
Afterwards many of the girls wanted to get their pictures taken with us. Some kept coming up to me and saying something I couldn’t understand and running away. Very strange.
Another set kept calling me Jingle Boy, in reference to the bells attached to my red squire’s belt. Eventually we all said that she must really like me because she calls me that. I got the ‘talk to the hand’ pose, but then three minutes later she’s calling me that again.
Ah, youth.
The small group of SCA people did an excellent job, I think. Everyone helped out either by playing music, teaching, or just interacting with the scouts and their parents.
We were paid in Girl Scout cookies and sent on our way. Anne’s face started to hurt from laughing so much as we listened to Weird Al’s latest CD on the drive home.
What a fun demo!!