I was at Crown this past weekend. Fantastic weather for fighting: cool enough for the fighters, yet warm enough for the rest of us. The tournament was wonderful. Four people from Cynnabar in it, and they all did a good job.
When not showing off Marcus to everyone, I spent part of the time talking to my good friend Garlanda. In the SCA she’s a Pelican, a Duchess, and, a few years ago, she significantly cut back on her SCA activities. She’s playing a lot of hockey now, yet still interacts in the SCA.
I feel I’m where she was a few years ago. No, I’m not thinking of joining a women’s hockey league.
Right now I’m discovering that I am spending more time outside of the SCA than in. Specifically, I’m choosing to do improvisation over SCA events and activities. I wanted to talk to Garlanda about this. I’m not sure why, but I felt I wanted to talk to her about this.
I’m glad I did. I told her my story and the choices I’ve been making. She listened, and when I was done she surprised me by asking me a very simple question.
“What do you want to achieve in the SCA?”
She didn’t mean minor things. She meant activities or goals that I was striving for above almost anything else. In the past I had that. I wanted to start a Kingdom wide yearly dance event. Get a performance arts center going at Pennsic. Serve the kingdom. Even if I never articulated or planned it, those goals were there somewhere and I was working towards them.
But now? Today? I realized there wasn’t anything I was striving for. Yes, I want to fight, but apparently I don’t have the fighting bug like I have the service bug. I enjoy juggling, but I have to remind myself to practice. I noticed that the order of priorities has become family and friends, work, improv, and SCA.
Garlanda pointed out that for her personality type, she needs goals to strive for, lessons to learn, dreams to fulfill. Yes, there are things she could do and learn in the SCA, but it wasn’t working out that way, and it was time for her to find something else. A change. A motivation.
I’m discovering that there are things I want to learn and do with improv that I’m not getting out of the SCA. Skills I want to develop and activities I want to try.
So, for now, my priorities are shifting. I have a personality type similar to Garlanda’s.
Do I want to quit the SCA? Of course not. But the SCA won’t be what dictates my every weekend, and my schedule won’t resolve around it like it used to. I have other parts of life to explore. Lessons to learn. Friends to meet. Shows to do.
Garlanda mentioned that when she made her decision, she got a lot of flak from quite a number of people. They felt she was abandoning them, that she wasn’t acting like a peer, or that she was making a huge mistake. I suppose I should expect some of that too. At least I’ll be a little prepared now.
It was a good conversation. Thank you, Garlanda.
This morning I saw the hernia surgeon, the one who would actually do the surgery. Yes, I have a hernia. In fact, I have both of the ones I thought I had.
And oh, by the way, we have an opening for June 1st.
*blink*
That is fast, and I’m feeling like an animal stuck in a really small cage. I’ve started to pace and I’m incredibly nervous.
Of course I knew I’d be having surgery, but I had figured it would be July, maybe August. I want it over with as soon as possible, but I never expect it to be five days from now. My mind is having trouble wrapping itself around that.
I’ve had hernia surgeries before: once in the 3rd grade, and once three years ago. They were different: from the front. This time I’m having it done laporascopically, which means they go in through my belly, insert lots of cameras, and make the repairs from the inside, not the outside. This means I should have more pain at first, but I’ll heal much faster, and I should have less of a chance of a reoccurrence.
I’ve never had that type of surgery before, so I think that is why I’m nervous. That and it happening so quickly.
The worst part is the recovery. While I should recover fast, I have to not lift anything more than ten pounds for six weeks! This is because I’ve had a hernia before, and they want to make sure it heals up nicely. No sex for a month, either.
Good thing Elaine is pregnant.
Fortunately, my work schedule is somehow clear for that week. The following week I have to drive down to Wright Patterson Air Force Base (in Ohio), so I’ll have to get my colleague to drive. I should be able to make that as long as no complications occur. I’ll also borrow Elaine’s car so I’m not pushing the clutch every few seconds on my manual transmission.
Not being able to pick up my son Marcus is one of the worst things. Especially since Elaine is going away for four days later in the month, so I’m not sure how I’ll be able to take full care of him. I’ll have to work that out with my friends and family, somehow.
Mainly, though, this means that Elaine has to do a whole lot more now, which is the worst part of all.
On Sunday I took my friend Kara shopping. We had a ton of fun. She needed a suit, and well…
Okay, I’m not sure how it happened, but I’m quite good at picking out clothing for women. It concerns me sometimes. Especially since I can’t pick out clothes for myself. I have no idea what looks good on me, I stick to bland solid colors, and I have no idea how to match a suit, tie, and shirt.
But with girl clothes and jewelry, I have skill. I love picking out stuff for Elaine (although, actually, when we go shopping together, I can’t find anything, but from catalogues or alone, I find great stuff for her), but I have no idea where I learned to do this. I have a good eye for fabrics, color, cut, style…ugh. Thank goodness I know how to make babies, or I’d have no masculinity whatsoever.
Ah well. The deal I made with Kara (and anyone else who wants me to go shopping with them) is that they have to try on anything I ask. I won’t go nuts (like, I won’t make them try on sexy lingerie if they don’t want to), but I will have fun with it.
Kara was perfect. We discussed things, but she was more than willing to try on whatever I asked. Heck, when we were passing the Goth place in Briarwood (Hot Topic is the name, I believe), I saw this red corset like dress with a short skirt and attached crinoline, and I had to have her try it on. Which she did. It was a fun look!
The goal was to find an interview suit for her. I didn’t expect to find anything she’d buy. Instead it was a hunt to see what styles would work so she could order something later.
We found something in the first store (Marshall Field’s). Kara described it best: “a silky pantsuit in a mossy green-brown with a very modern mandarin-collared jacket, paired with a patterned shell in slightly brighter earth tones.” It was something she never would have tried on by herself, and honestly it is something I think only would look great on her. I would have never have picked it out for Elaine. I didn’t like the shell, but on Kara, with that suit, it was fantastic.
Some things at other stores came close, but we kept comparing it to that first outfit. We did really well.
I have other friends who want me to take them shopping. I get to dress up more sexy women in whatever I want. Not a bad deal!!
I am a very funny person.
Seriously.
I was told at my evaluation at Second City Improv that I am extremely funny, and intelligent, and confident, and that that combination is wonderful for improv.
Let me handle the inevitable questions now. With few exceptions, I’ll keep the names of the questioners private.
Q: Why should we care about your teacher’s opinion?
A: He is a professional improviser, who has been on stage in shows and in other media. He knows what he is talking about.
Q: Maybe you are only funny compared to the rest of the class?
A: While yes, I make them laugh, many of them are also quite funny, which just makes my funniality that much more impressive.
Q: Aren’t you just funny looking?
A: Mom, please stop asking that question.
Q: Did you pay your teacher to tell you that?
A: Of course not! Well…okay, I pay for the course, but that in no way influenced him.
Q: Do you realize I’m still funnier than you?
A: Yes, Elaine, I know that.
Q: If you are so darn funny, why do you have to take classes to be funny?
A: Just because I am funny, doesn’t mean I can’t get any funnier. That is why I practice all my jokes on all my rapidly diminishing number of friends.
Q: A joke doesn’t have to be funny, you know.
A: That isn’t a question, but I will answer it: Yes, Your Grace, of course.
Q: Now that you’ve been told you are very funny, I’m sure your ego will grow even bigger, right?
A: There is no possible way I could be any more egotistical than I am now.
Q: Can you tell me a joke?
A: Yes.
Q: How come your blog entries aren’t funny?
A: You haven’t been drinking enough before reading them.
Q: Do I have to laugh at all of your jokes now?
A: No, unless you are one of my minions and work for me. You can also bring me chocolate.
Q: When can I see your funny self on stage so I can judge for myself, funny man?
A: Sunday, June 27th. I think it starts at Noon, but I’m not sure exactly where in Novi the show is. I’ll let people know.
Q: I think you are incredibly handsome and sexy. Is it okay if I like those qualities as much as your sense of humor?
A: Of course! That is one of the reasons why I married you!
When Marcus was younger it wasn’t a big production to change a diaper. He didn’t really wear clothes, so you just have the following steps.
1. Take off diaper.
2. Quickly wipe up any messes with an item appropriately called a baby wipe.
3. Be on guard for any extra discharges that try to shoot at you.
4. But the new diaper underneath his bottom.
5. Add baby powder, which I find to be similar to gunpowder.
6. Secure the diaper around baby.
7. Wash hands.
8. Rush back in a panic and make sure baby hasn’t either fallen off the table or swallowed a blanket.
Now it has gotten harder. So, from easier to hardest, this is my opinion on the difficulty of changing a diaper.
Easiest : Daycare changes the diaper.
This is the best method all around. I don’t have to throw out the bad diapers, and the professionals there will do it several times a day.
Almost Easiest : Elaine changes the diaper.
I am going to get into so much trouble for this, but yes, for me, this is the easiest method for me. At least, it used to be until I posted this entry. Fortunately, Elaine has a great sense of humor. Right? Right?
Easy : Grandma changes the diaper.
I like this one the best because when Elaine’s Mom is around, neither one of us have to change the diaper. In fact, we aren’t even nearby. We are usually at a movie or enjoying some romantic time together. The only drawback is that we either have to get Marcus to Grandma, or Grandma has to come to Marcus. Still, it is a nice alternative.
Medium : Friends change the diaper.
While I know Grandma doesn’t like changing diapers, she loves being around Marcus because he’s her grandson, so I figure she’ll do lots of changing as long as we thank her profusely.
There are times, however, when she can’t be around when both Elaine and I are away or daycare is closed and we can’t make it home. Fortunately, we are blessed with some good friends who don’t mind watching Marcus. Unfortunately, if we make too many requests of their good will, I think we will soon run out of friends.
Hard : Ship Marcus to Philly to Bubba and Zayda.
My parents, unfortunately, live far away. If they lived closer, I’d allow them the thrills and joys of changing Marcus. They may come up here on the 4th, and Elaine and I are more than willing to catch up on their diaper duties.
Very Hard : Dad changes the diaper.
This involves me doing steps one through eight above, except now there are clothes to remove and put back on. Also, Marcus, like all kids, likes to touch himself all over, especially when he is dirty, so we have the fun game of stopping that while holding a baby wipe, his feet, his hands, and the dirty diaper. Because I’m equipped with four hands, this presents no difficulty.
To stop him from grabbing his dirty bottom, we have the Changing Bunny, which he likes to hold while we change him. I am so very glad that works. Lately he holds onto Tigger. Whatever works.
Impossible : Dad changes the diaper, but can’t use wipes.
My poor little Marcus Man (MM) has diaper rash. It is bad enough that we have special medicine. So, here are the steps I had to do this morning in order to change him:
1. Remove MM’s clothes in baby room.
2. Take MM to bathroom.
3. Turn on water in tub.
4. Remove extremely disgusting dirty diaper and put on floor.
5. Put MM in bathtub.
6. Before he hits the water, realize it is too hot and pull him out.
7. Turn on cold water while holding him and not getting crap all over myself.
8. Stand MM in bathtub.
9. Console him as he starts crying.
10. Splash water around his bottom, like a bidet.
11. Keep consoling MM, as he really hates this.
12. Continue splashing for three to four minutes, as cleaning him this way is very tough.
13. Turn water off.
14. Pull him out of tub and put him on a towel.
15. Start drying him.
16. Quickly put him back in the tub as he decides that now would be a good time for a bathroom break.
17. Turn on water.
18. Pull him out of water until the right temperature is reached.
19. Check self to see if crapped on.
20. Sigh with relief.
21. Put MM in water.
22. Pretend to be a bidet again.
23. Find a new towel.
24. Turn off water.
25. Pull MM out of tub and put him on clean towel.
26. Glare at MM, daring him to do that again.
27. Watch MM giggle at you.
28. Finish drying MM.
29. Take him back to changing table.
30. Run back to bathroom with MM, and grab dirty diaper that cat is starting to play with.
31. Go to changing room and dispose of diaper in Diaper Genie.
32. Go back to bathroom and wash hands while holding MM.
33. Pray that MM contains himself for just five minutes longer.
34. Go to baby room and put MM on changing table.
35. Hand Tigger to MM.
36. Pick Tigger up off floor and hand back to MM.
37. Put baby lotion all over MM’s body.
38. Wait for it to dry.
39. Think about how much you miss your wife.
40. Wait some more.
41. Make faces at MM and watch him giggle.
42. Pull out new diaper just in case.
43. Put medicine on MM for the diaper rash in that oh so special area that you can’t believe you are touching.
44. Make mental note to send wife flowers for all the times she’s changed MM’s diaper.
45. Dodge thrown Tigger.
46. Give Tigger back to MM.
47. Wipe hands.
48. Apply baby powder to MM.
49. Apply baby rash cream to that special place.
50. Wipe hands.
51. Decide she deserves more than flowers. Perhaps a romantic dinner.
52. Put suntan lotion on MM.
53. Hear MM fart.
54. Panic.
55. Grab MM’s feet and pull legs up.
56. Sigh with relief that nothing happened.
57. Put diaper on MM.
58. Feel incredible relief that shields are in place at full strength.
59. Wash hands.
60. Resolve to never let wife go away on a business trip again.
61. Put clothes on MM.
62. Take shirt off MM and put it on correctly.
63. Hug MM and kiss him all over.
It will be so nice when he is potty trained.
This is really odd, but I don’t think I’ll be fighting at Pennsic this year.
I’ve been fighting in the battles for quite a while now. I greatly enjoy them – it is such a unique experience to be in battles with over 1,000 other fighters, hitting each other and having fun.
The best part is fighting in a unit, like with Cynnabar. Because we have practiced and trained together, we fight extremely well, and can take on much larger units are survive pretty much intact.
But this year I may have to take a pass because of a combination of things.
First, and most importantly, are my hernias. I have to figure out when I can not only have the surgery, but when I can take the time to recover.
At first I thought I’d wait until after Pennsic. But now, and this is the second problem, I have ton of business trips and meetings lined up for the end of August and during September. And it isn’t even June yet.
Third, my improv classes and performances are starting to really interfere with things. These performances will be on stage and with my classmates. I’ve never done this before, and I’d rather not miss that. Pennsic will be around next year. My classmates and these sessions won’t be, I think.
So I need to figure out what to do and how to handle it. As it is, I might skip the Saturdays at Pennsic so I don’t miss any of my classes.
Also, if I don’t fight, then I could do other things at war, like participate in all the Coxcomb activities. Stay up late dancing. Sleep late!
Hmm, I probably won’t be able to sleep late, unless I’m still recovering, as I’d want to help the other fighters get out onto the field.
Skipping fighting at war does add a lot of flexibility to my schedule. The more I think about it, the more I feel that I will be giving it a pass this year.
I’ll miss it though.
I have been on a quest for really good Buffalo Wings.
One wouldn’t think this was a hard task, but it has been.
The best that I’ve ever had was in upstate New York. My friend Kathy and I were driving around there for some reason, and we ended up at a restaurant called 99 (I think). Amazing. Absolutely the best wings ever.
Since then, I really haven’t found any I like, especially in Ann Arbor. Okay, some places have decent wings, but I want to be able to eat them at home, have them delivered, or at least get them by take out.
I used to buy Tyson wings by the five pound bag from Sam’s club. At first there weren’t too bad. But as the months wore on they got increasingly fatty and more disgusting. I had to give that up.
My friend Eric makes incredible wings. I have the recipe and Elaine made them once. Wow, are they good!! Unfortunately, they take a long time and the sauce is enough to give you a coronary (though trust me, for these wings, heart failure is worth it).
A couple of weeks ago at work, during pizza Friday, I think I’ve succeeded in my quest. In addition to ordering pizza from a new place, they also got the wings. While not as good as 99’s or Eric’s, they were in fact quite good! Lean chicken meat, with a hot sauce that wasn’t a killer, lots of meat on each bone…wonderful!
And what is the name of this wing-cooking mecca?
Pizza Hut.
I’m not kidding.
Of all the places in Ann Arbor that I’ve tried, and I’ve tried a lot, not only are they the best, but I’ve gone out of my way to order more. When they didn’t have delivery one day, I drove out there.
Yum.
After Improv last night I did learn there was a Buffalo Wingers restaurant around the corner, and I tried that out. The wings were really cheap, with lots of different kind of sauces (like spicy garlic for Elaine). While good, I still like the Pizza Hut ones better.
Go figure.
Be that as it may, my quest is done. I have found wings, and I can now eat them to my heart’s content! Pass the bleu cheese, please.
This weekend wasn’t too bad.
I tried to take off from work on Thursday and Friday. I needed some time to myself, to recharge and all that. I’m not sure I got that, unfortunately. On both days I had to go back into work for a little bit. It is part of my job, but it still would have been nice to have that time.
On Thursday I hung out with Eli for a bit (and talked about the work my new helm needs), and when I came home Elaine and Marcus were there. Marcus had a fever (101.6) and wasn’t doing well at all. Elaine decided to stay home with him. I got called into work, but after that I was still able to hang out with Karen like we planned. I’m glad that she and Elaine had time to talk alone for a bit.
We stayed home from dance because of Marcus. Poor little guy. The good news is that he is doing much better now, though we kept him home on Friday too.
We did watch the Friend’s finale. It was okay. I would have rather have seen what their lives were like a few decades in the future, but I admit that I liked the ending.
Friday I went into work for a telecon that was cancelled. That afternoon and evening I got to spend time with Elaine and Marcus, which was very nice. He found one of my Little Mermaid keychains, one where you press a button and she sings a bit from “A Part of Your World.” He was playing with that all night long…that’s my boy!!
(My son just walked into the den wearing my hat and sucking in ice chips. He is soooo cute!)
Saturday was Improv! I finally was able to go to my Section C class at the new Second City. I’ve updated my journal entries on that. I really like that it is only 40 minutes away, as opposed to 50 minutes for Detroit Second City, and 60 minutes for the class I’m currently taking on Monday nights.
That night some friends called and invited us to see Van Helsing. Elaine’s parents were glad to babysit, so we were able to go and see it.
I was underwhelmed. I don’t mind fantasies, in fact, I like them. But I need some sort of consistency. I need to not have to fight my suspension of disbelief. It was too much. The worst parts of Batman and Indiana Jones. The action never stopped, and quite frankly had no purpose to me. I guess if you really loved The Mummy you’ll like this, but I don’t think I can recommended it.
I really hope Troy is better. I’m sure Spiderman will be.
Today was Mother’s Day, and we spent it with Elaine’s family. Not a bad way to spend the day.
Now I’m going to fire up a computer game and conquer the world again. I do this for Elaine, of course. Not matter how much she denies it, I know she is thrilled.
So I decide to take off work today, to get some time to myself. I hang out with Eli, I get some shopping done, run some other errands, and get on home. Surprisingly, Elaine is there. Didn’t she go to work?
Poor Marcus Man was sick today, and unfortunately he still is. At one point he had a fever of 101.6. Sometimes he was in a happy playful mood, but other times he wasn’t happy at all, and the rest of the time he slept.
Okay, sometimes being a parent officially sucks.
The logical part of me knows that kids get sick, and that Marcus will be fine, and all will be right in the world.
I try to access the logical part of my brain, but I keep getting a busy signal.
Instead, the emotional part of me is screaming, praying, and banging its head in frustration. There is not a damn thing I can do for Marcus, and that terrifies me.
Worse, this is just an illness? I can see it now. He goes off to school alone the first time, or tries riding a bike. Gack, he’s going to be driving soon and dating!!
Apparently I’m sick too. Not a fever, but, um, well, let’s just say my body has told me that I don’t feel good.
I wonder if I’m getting these symptoms because of worry. That would stink, and it would explain why most parents go grey.
At least Pythagoras is fine. One out of three ain’t bad.
Back in 1989, something startling to me happened: I failed a math test.
Not only did I fail it, I got the lowest score in the class.
And it wasn’t that everyone did poorly. I think I got in the low 30s, and while there was a clump of us in the 30 to 50 range, there was another group in the 70 to 90 range.
I couldn’t believe it, and my world view shifted. All my life mathematics has been, well, not easy, but something that with a reasonable amount of effort I could get. It was something I could understand with some work and do extremely well.
That time, fifteen years ago, it wasn’t the case. I had to really buckle down, study for math more than all my other subjects combine, and actually, well, learn how to learn math. It was a scary time for me, but I think I came out better for it.
Something similar is happening to me now in my improvisation class. The one I’m currently taking (not with Second City) is with people who have had at least a year of experience more than me. I’m learning a lot, and for the first three classes, I felt I was doing great and fitting in nicely.
However, the last two classes have been extremely rough. I’ve been messing up on every basic rule of improv: asking questions, denying, and pimping.
I should probably explain that. Pimping is when you basically tell the other person on stage what they are doing. “Ah, I see you are riding a horse!” That sort of thing. Very bad.
So I find I’m second-guessing myself, and just not having a good time of it.
The teacher, though, is complimenting me. He’s says I’m noticing all the bad things I’m doing and trying to compensate for them, and that I’m coming along nicely. It makes sense. I guess I’m reaching the point where I now understand what I’m doing wrong and am actively trying to improve.
This just shows that I need these classes after all.
While working quietly
in my office alone,
I hear a soft tapping
and my silence is blown.
Is search low, I search high
with the tapping still there.
I can't find the source
so I start pulling my hair.
Then outside my window
I spy with my eyes,
A small little birdie
who I soon will displise.
With leaps and with thrusts
It slams at the glass,
again and again,
at me to harass.
Why does it do this?
What does this bird want?
Why make such a noise,
my office to haunt?
It does this for hours,
without break or pause,
I shoo it away,
I feel I have cause.
Yet the stupid bird stay,
tapping without break.
My mind starts to snap,
my hands start to shake.
With nothing to do
I leave for the day.
Hoping that later,
It will fly away.
Because if it doesn't, I'm going to kill the stupid little pecker that keeps
banging at my freaking glass window for hours on end!!!
