Late Wednesday afternoon I get an email on my Second City list. TLC’s Perfect Proposal was shooting an episode in Ann Arbor and they needed an improv actor to play the host of a show called “opposites attract.”

I could do this.

They were looking for a male between the ages for 35 and 50. The filming would be for one day, Dec 4th (I’d actually be home that day!) for just one day only. It was also a non union job.

It sounded perfect.

This got me incredibly excited. The email was sent out Tuesday and I only got it Wednesday. The producer wanted to see a résumé and headshot as soon as possible as he would call people on Wednesday and over the weekend.

I had a lot of work to do. Elaine took my picture…well, tons of pictures, and one of them turned out okay. But more importantly, I finally got my performance resume together. I’m quite pleased with it, actually, and it filled out quite well!

Thursday evening I emailed it off and waited.

And waited.

And waited.

I could so do this part. It was even a paying gig, so it would be professional. I’d get television exposure and who knows where it might lead.

More waiting.

Saturday I didn’t hear anything. No email. No phone call. I’d given out my cell phone number so the producer could contact me any time.

Sunday rolled around, and by the evening I figured it wasn’t happening.

It was quite the let down.

Ah well. It would have been nice to just audition, but if I keep trying for these things, it won’t be my last let down.

I did get an email from the producer tonight. He said that by the time he got the mass of emails from the Second City solicitation, one of the other producers had already booked someone.

It was good that he responded. He was very friendly, stating that he hopes he can work with me in the future, and that he’ll keep my information on file.

I realize that is probably just what he always says, but it was still nice.

And who knows. Maybe one day…

The Red Cross has moved. Not far, just down the road, still on Packard, only a few miles. Instead of being between my home and work, it is now right next door to Pythag’s Vet.

The difference, though, is striking.

The old building was more like a trailer. It had a perfect rectangular floor, with just enough space to handle six blood donors. It wasn’t a bad space, and it got the job done.

The new place, however, is a two-story edifice that isn’t just for blood donations: it has plenty of room for other Red Cross activities. I have no idea what they are, but I assume it has something to do with blood and cute white uniforms.

The donation area was huge and wide open. You could almost get lost going from the check in area to the donation chairs. In fact, after giving blood you may be too light headed to find your way back.

The biggest surprise were the chairs. In the old place they were flat gurneys that weren’t very comfortable. But, they had the advantage that you couldn’t see anything: your arm, the needles, the blood, someone else’s arm…nothing. You could relax in blissful ignorance and ignore the fact that you are bleeding out your life fluids.

The chairs at the new place were giant padded recliners. And, better still, they were comfortable! I almost fell asleep just climbing into one! They were contoured to one’s body, had padding in all the right places, and had adjustments available that would put a Craftmatic to shame.

The bad news is that there is a down side. I could see my arm and needle quite clearly (if I wasn’t such a wuss that I looked). Worse, my feet were only a few inches from the other guy’s feet across from me, and I could clearly see the nurse inserting the needle into his arm. Then again, passing out did help the time to go by faster.

The truth is that the nurses liked the old gurneys better. Apparently the donors have more side effects from giving blood in recliners than if they are just lying down. Of course, we donors would much rather have these wondrous comfy chairs.

The only thing they are missing is a heated seat and a storage space for cold drinks. If they had that, I’d consider getting one for the home.

The Home Blood Donation Lounger. Has a nice ring to it, if it weren’t for all those darn needles.

Whenever one is doing a sport or exercising, they are told that proper form is one of the most important parts of the exercise.

That was driven home to me just now, in a nice painful manner.

Before I ended up praying to the porcelain god to please get rid of my stomach virus, I was doing Hindu squats. I had gotten up to about 100, and was doing them in about 10 minutes. I was doing them at a good pace, and I would break into a sweat and feel good about myself. I had started at 50, but over about two weeks I worked my way up, and figured I would continue.

After the illness, I had in my possession some workout tapes where the instructor shows you how to do the exercise properly.

My jaw hit the ground.

It wasn’t a smooth, slow, yoga like move. Oh no. It was fast. As in you should be doing one squat every two to three second. The goal is 500 squats in 15 minutes. And, most importantly, your back should be in a straight vertical line, perpendicular to the floor.

I followed alone with the tape as best I could as he did 100. When I got to 30 I was sweating profusely, breathing heavily, and was quite worn out. That was Sunday. On Monday I did maybe 32. Same result. I was very careful to keep my back straight and do them fast yet proper.

Today, my legs are in agony. I feel the ache in my calves, but my thighs feel like they are on fire! I walk as if I have wooden legs. Amazing.

I’m definitely getting a work out, and I think I’m doing it correctly.

I decided to not do the squats today. I need to give my muscles a day of rest. The instructor said that in the beginning I might be able to only do this every other day, so that’s fine. I also gave blood today, and I don’t want to work out right after that.

The scary thing is that those squats were only the first type he showed. The next type included a jump back and forth. I tried a few of those.

Oh my goodness. Is he insane??

I stopped the tape after that. I need to get this down, and maybe up to 100, before I even more styles.

I have to admit, however, that I’m very curious to see how I’m doing the Hindu pushups wrong, and what effect that will have on my body.

While I recover, with my brain still dizzy, I thought I’d share some quotes I’ve found over the years. I love quotes. Enjoy.

"The uncommon man is merely the common man thinking and dreaming of success in larger terms and in more fruitful areas."
- Melvin Powers

"It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit."
- Harry S. Truman

"The secret of happiness is something to do."
- John Burroughs

"The person who tries to live alone will not succeed as a human being. His heart withers if it does not answer another heart. His mind shrinks away if he hears only the echoes of his own thoughts and finds no other inspiration."
- Pearl S. Buck

"I don't believe people are looking for the meaning of life as much as they are looking for the experience of being alive."
- Joseph Campbell

"Don't be afraid to give your best to what seemingly are small jobs. Every time you conquer one it makes you that much stronger. If you do the little jobs well, the big ones tend to take care of themselves."
- Dale Carnegie

"Conformity is the jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth."
- John F. Kennedy

"Let the world know you as you are, not as you think you should be, because sooner or later, if you are posing, you will forget the pose, and then where are you?"
- Fanny Brice

"Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."
- Muriel Strode

"In all the work we do, our most valuable asset can be the attitude of self-examination. It is forgivable to make mistakes, but to stand fast behind a wall of self-righteousness and make the same mistake twice is not forgivable."
- Dale Turner

"The two important things I did learn were that you are as powerful and strong as you allow yourself to be, and that the most difficult part of any endeavor is taking the first step, making the first decision."
- Robyn Davidson

Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language, and forthwith it is somethingentirely different.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

"When I hear somebody sigh, "Life is hard," I am always tempted to ask, "Compared to what?""
- Sydney J. Harris

"I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love."
- Mother Teresa

"Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend to them all the care, kindness, and understanding you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again."
- Og Mandino

"Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt, and dance like no one's watching."
- Author Unknown

For our anniversary,

my love,

I will not buy you diamonds,

my love,

I will not hand you flowers,

my love,

I will not tell you,

my love,

How much my heart leaps,

my love,

Whenever I see you.

my love,

I will not give you chocolates,

my love,

And I will not read you poetry,

my love,

But most of all,

my love,

For our anniversary,

my love,

To show how much I care,

my love,

I most definitely will not,

my love,

Bring home with me,

my love,

The new Shatner CD I borrowed.

my love,

I will not play it for you,

my love,

You will not have to listen to it,

my love,

Nor will you have to see it,

my love,

And so,

my love,

I hope to have,

my love,

Many more anniversaries,

my love,

With my one and only love.

I went out with a friend from my improv class and two of his friends to The Blind Pig to see a comedy troupe called Stella. I figured what the heck, they started as improvers, and it might be a cool thing to go see.

It wasn’t worth it. Okay, meeting two new people and hanging out was fine, but this troupe was, well, dumb. Waiting in line in the cold for 45 minutes was more fun than the performance they put on.

The opening act was a standup comedian, Eugene Mirman, and he was very funny. Liked him a lot, had great stories and good routines.

Stella though, was just dumb. They babbled on and acted stupid. I think I laughed a few times. Feh. It isn’t even worth it to type out some of the stupid routines they did. They weren’t even bad jokes. Just saying things then talking about body parts. Har har har.

I’m going to bed.

I took Pythagoras to the vet today. It was just a regular check up, yet of course he has no way of knowing that. So while he is in his cat carrier and we are driving to the vet, he lets out the little tiny plaintive mews that break my heart. It is incredibly sad, especially since he can’t understand what I’m saying.

I tell him that everything will be fine, that I won’t abandon him, and that he’ll be going home soon. But he is just a cat, and he just has no idea what is going on.

Trips to the vet with Pythag have been frustrating sad from a communication perspective, but today I discovered one even sadder.

Daycare called, and Marcus was sick. A stomach virus or something, and he threw up so had to come in and get him.

I took him home and comforted him. He threw up on me twice (the first wasn’t too bad, but the second one…ugh), but for the most part I was able to read to him and help to relax.

The part that really hit me, though, and made me want to do something, anything, was when he plaintively said “help me.” He knew he needed help, and I was doing what I could (we talked to the doctor, fed him clear liquids, and more), but he of course couldn’t understand what we were saying.

So I did what I could, which was hold him a lot and hug him and tell him I loved him. He asked for lots of hugs, usually right before he got sick, but I didn’t care. I’m sure he got the message that we love him dearly, but it kills me that he doesn’t understand what is happening to him and why we can’t help.

Eventually Elaine’s Mom came over, which was incredibly helpful, as we took turns holding him and cleaning up. I did a bunch of laundry, and with her here I could also go to the vet and dentist.

Marcus has started to feel better, we think. He’s kept some water and other stuff mostly down. He sleeping for the night. I checked in on him and I think he is doing okay. We’ll keep him home tomorrow and hopefully he’ll be back to normal.

On the other hand, I’m not feeling so hot myself right now.

I’ve known for quite a while that if I wanted to continue my Second City improv classes that I would have to audition for the conservatory level (levels 1, 1a, and 2 through 5). Level 1 and 2 have auditions. I’m in level E right now, the last level of the beginning sequence.

What I didn’t know is that the audition is like auditioning for a professional show. They expect a résumé, a headshot, and for the student to be professional about it. Now, they aren’t going to be strict. We’ll be fine if we don’t have a headshot, for instance. But, the résumé is important.

Somehow I don’t think my curriculum vitae, with my technical papers, is what they are looking for.

They want me to list every type of performance I’ve done. This would be a small list, except when I mentioned SCA stuff, they said: yes, absolutely.

So, every class I’ve taught that was performance related. Every Bedlam show that I’ve written, directed, and performed. My juggling acts. My street performing. The two plays I did in undergrad. Oh, the singing group. I was in that for a while, and we performed. That counts. So do demos where I performed, which would include table acting and the like.

I also can include my SC classes, as well as the Goteri class I took.

I’ll have to differentiate between amateur and professional. My last improv teacher said (paraphrasing), “A professional gig is a paid gig. It doesn’t matter if they paid you in dollars or chickens. If they paid you something, it is professional.

My problem is that I didn’t write down all my performances as I did them, so I’ll have to go back and try to reconstruct it all. I’m sure that we were paid to do some of our Bedlam performances, but I have no idea which ones.

Oh, I was also in that John Travolta movie, Blow Out. My high school marching band was in one of the scenes for two seconds. Does that count? Probably as an extra. We were there, all weekend, sleeping overnight in an auditorium.

Do I include my high school marching band experience? It is performance, I guess.

It will be fun putting all this together. The audition is during the week after the show (week of the December 13th), so I have some time to prepare.

Today, Marcus has been saying over and over: "Daddy's funny!!"

Yes, I voted for Kerry, but there are lots of reasons why I can be glad Bush won.

1. My company will do better, providing me job security. With Bush in charge, I’m confident we’ll have longer and more protracted wars. This means we’ll need more research and development, helping my company prosper.

2. Tax cuts. Who cares about the deficit? Right now, thanks to Bush, the tax cuts will stay in place. In fact, he’ll probably give me more tax cuts, putting more money in my pocket. Marcus will figure out a way to deal with it.

3. More jobs. There will be more jobs thanks to Bush, especially since he won’t let environmental regulations get in the way of manufacturing. Bring it on. Our pollution doesn’t stay here anyway. The winds will blow it to France.

4. Government control of marriage. Gays and lesbians can give up the illusion that they were making strides in their rights. Every state election on this issue was for specifically defining a marriage between one man and one woman, and I’m sure that Bush will push for a Constitutional amendment. So my friends, it is time to go back into the closet.

5. Comedy. All the comedians I like are great at making fun of Bush. Now they will have four more years to do so.

6. The Supreme Court. With a stronger Senate and House, I’m confident that the Supreme Court will swing very far to the right. One less thing to worry about, as I can now assume that my social views will be struck down. Besides, I always wanted to live in the 1950s.

7. Human Rights. Like other liberties, I can now stop hoping for human rights. With Bush still in charge, people with no hope of legal representation will be held in Guantanamo Bay indefinitely. In the name of homeland security, I expect things to get much worse. Good thing that Bush is only after them, and not me. I’m much safer.

8. Terrorism. According to his campaign, with Bush in charge, there is a much lower chance of a terrorism attach on American soil. Fortunately, during the past four years, nuclear proliferation has slowed down. Except in Iran. Oh, and North Korea.

9. Second Amendment. Fortunately, thanks to the weakening of gun control laws, I can arm myself as I wish. I’m giving it some thought, as the storm clouds on the horizon look mighty nasty.

10. The Democratic Party. Maybe now, finally, they will realize that they can’t just be the “Anti-Republican” party. Get a platform. Stick to it. Think!!!

11. No Surprises. If Kerry were in charge, we would have no idea where the country would be headed. With Bush in charge, we know exactly what will happen. And this time, he got a majority of the votes. He has a mandate.

So, be of good cheer, smile, and repeat after me: Four more years! Four more years!

This weekend was hectic and relaxing, exciting and calm, and busy and slow.

That leaves me tired yet regenerated, so I suppose it was a good weekend.

Friday night started out with me and Patrick heading off to Shawn’s pumpkin carving party. We set out late because of work and got there sometime after 8 PM (I think). Patrick drove (thank you!), which pleased me greatly as I really don’t like driving place, and it gave us a great time to talk during the drive up and back from Lansing.

We missed the carving part, and that didn’t bother me at all. The party was quite crowded at first, and I got to play Guillotine and Set before the crowd thinned out. The food was good and I got to see a bunch of people I hadn’t seen in a while.

Alison and I also exchanged maternity stuff. In the dark her husband and I pulled our cars next to one another and started switching packages. It may have looked like some drug exchange or something, and I was hoping a cop would stop by to bust us, only to find us transferring a number of rather large articles of women’s clothing and baby onesies and twosies.

We got back pretty late, around 1 AM or so. I stayed up to watch Enterprise and do the dishes.

I had to get up a bit early to run a bunch of errands. I went to a number of stores, including Lowe’s. Once again I found some small leaking in the basement, and I immediately knew what it was: the gutter drain must have come off again. I checked it out and was right, so I decided once and for all to try to fix it right. I purchased some screws and two gutter pieces: a straight length and an angle part. Total cost: $5.00

My last stop was Sam’s club, where I got (cheese) some party supplies, along with (cheese) so other things we needed around the house, including (cheese) some batteries and (cheese) shaving razors.

Razors are expensive. Three Mach 3 razors cost as much as what I needed for gutter repair.

After I got home I asked Marcus if he wanted to help me fix the gutter, and he immediately left Mommy to do it. Amazing. He again held tools and stayed by me as I worked the rusted screws out, drilled new holes in the gutter, and attached the new pieces. I think it looks pretty good, but I’ll only be able to tell when the next storm hits.

Elaine then left for two hours to get a massage, so I got to hang out with Marcus Man. I read to him a bit, but then all of the sudden he fell asleep! Fortunately, I was prepared. While I was on the sofa he slept on my chest, and I had set up the tapes so I could watch Joan of Arcadia and Real Time With Bill Maher from last night.

Marcus woke up before Elaine came home, so I got credit for watching an entirely awake little boy! Hopefully, she’ll never discover that he slept most of the time.

Elaine was feeling pretty good, so we caught up on West Wing and Law and Order while eating dinner and relaxing, and played with Marcus a bit. I then went around and cleaned up a bunch of the house. Elaine did a great job in the kitchen. I handled the den and the basement. The basement is now, finally, straightened up, though I hadn’t gotten to sorting the books that Marcus messed up and piled on the floor.

Parsla agreed to come over early to help me move some furniture. She arrived…you know, I’m not sure when she arrived. She helped me sort the books (“Did I help you with this the first time?”) and then we moved the little girl furniture out of the SCA garb room to the basement, and the spare bedroom furniture into the garb room. The empty bedroom will become Marcus’s bedroom after it gets painted, which is why the stuff had to be moved.

During this time, Joe and his son Colin showed up, which was great because Elaine was getting into her costume, and Marcus and Colin, for the most part, had a fun time playing together.

Parsla and I finished (thank you!), and people started to show up for the party. As stated in earlier entries, we took it very easy this year. Simple costumes, lots of food and games, and a very relaxed atmosphere. We had a bit more than 20 people at the party, with some hopping to others after visiting here. While I expected more, it was still a fine turn out, and people seemed to be enjoying themselves.

Elaine and I had a fun easy costume idea. I went as James Bond, so I only had to wear a tux. Elaine went as a pregnant Money Penny, and actually had clothes that helped her look like a stylish British woman! Marcus Man was in a cute Tigger outfit, and Pythag played at being The Invisible Cat.

I also tried baking. I made Lemon Squares from a mix I got. I was doing okay until the main mix was in the oven. I set the timer properly, but when it went off I ignored it cause I was futzing with the camera with my son. I acknowledge the timer, and told myself that I’d address the food soon, but then forgot about it until five minutes later. “Ack, the lemon bars!!!” I ran to the oven and they were brown. Not black, but they had caramelized a bit.

It was then Joe told me that the ‘cooling’ part of the recipe normally takes five hours, not one hour like I thought.

Ugh.

So I had possibly burnt food that wouldn’t cool until the party was over.

No problem. I’m an engineer. I let it cool for thirty minutes then put it in the fridge for an hour. I took it out (still a bit warm), added way too much powdered sugar, and served.

It tasted pretty good! Gooey, and not solid, but good!

The rest of the party went well. I was incredibly exhausted. I think everyone left by 1 AM. I cleaned up a bit, putting stuff in plastic bags and in the fridge so things wouldn’t spoil, and then poured myself into bed.

Sunday. What the heck did I do Sunday?

Oh, right. Elaine did the dishes for me (thank you!!) so I spent some time straightening things up and then goofing off on the computer.

At noon a fellow came over to help me with Marcus’s room. Together, for about four hours, we applied a solution to the wallpaper and peeled it off the walls. It didn’t come off well. Only a few sheets came off complete. The rest came off in pieces. Some easier, some harder. We got 7/8ths of the paper off, and 1/4 of the paste off. One more session should do it, then the painting can begin.

I was still tired. Ten minutes after I cleaned up Marcus and Elaine came back home (no need for them to be around all the chemicals). We played a bit and read, then I went to the computer to goof off a bit while trick-or-treaters came around.

I followed the advice of some of my friends and handed out normal (i.e. large) sized candy bars: specifically, the 1.55 oz Hershey bars that I got at bulk at Sam’s. At first, the kids didn’t seem to care, but eventually, later in the evening, some older kids came by and said, “Wow, a big candy bar. You rock!” It was fun seeing all those kids really happy that way. All in all I think we handed out 80 bars of candy. Elaine took Marcus door to door, and he was very confused by the whole process. They went just around our little street.

We tried taking a picture of him, but it was tough because he really just wanted to play with the camera.

Later that night I worked on a proposal for work, and got quite a bit done that evening. I’ll be working on that many nights this week, but that is fine, as I get quite a bit done at home when I can pause and think without interruption.

I’m hopeful that after this week things will slow down a bit. The weekend left me exhausted, yet I still don’t really have time to take a break. Especially since sometime before the 9th I need to rake my leaves!